Hold On To Your Heart
by Synnerxx
Summary: Hold on to your heart 'cause I'm coming to break you.


**Warnings: Dark!Lucifer, slight dub-con**

**Spoilers: General ones for season five.**

**Pairing: Lucifer/Gabriel**

**Notes: Written for zekkass on livejournal**

**Prompt: Any, any,  
><em>There is love in your body but you can't get it out<br>It gets stuck in your head, won't come out of your mouth  
>Sticks to your tongue and it shows on your face<br>That the sweetest of words have the bitterest taste - Hardest of Hearts by Florence and the Machine_ and _Haunting_ for angst_bingo****  
><strong>

* * *

><p>"You'd choose them over me, Gabriel?" Lucifer asks, hurt and betrayed.<p>

Gabriel can't answer. He wants to choose Lucifer, doesn't want to lose him, but he can't defy his Father. He's not that brave and, in the end, it's not up to him anyway. Michael casts Lucifer out, Heaven mourns the Fallen and then forgets how to be happy, how to shine with its' former Glory, but Gabriel doesn't.

It's why he leaves, why he hides himself away from his brothers and sisters and takes up with the Pagans. For a while, he can pretend he's happy, that he likes being The Trickster, and, yeah, it's fun and it takes his mind off of Heaven and Angels and God, but he misses being an Archangel. He misses the little things, like always having someone there to groom his wings when he wants, misses the touch of Grace from another Angel, he misses his home.

It's why, when Lucifer is freed from his cage, he is drawn to him, among other things. He resists until he knows that Lucifer has found a vessel and then he goes to him, like a moth to a flame. Lucifer will burn him when he gets too close, but he's helpless to control the urge, just like the moth.

Lucifer stares him down, face and Grace unreadable and unfamiliar to Gabriel after all their years of separation. It hurts to know that he doesn't know Lucifer at all now when he used to know him so well before. Lucifer can still read him like a book. He feels that brush of Grace against his own, cold and hard, a silent question of why he came and why does he care?

Gabriel hides nothing from him, can't hide, not anymore. He's a fool and he's not going to hide it. Lucifer pulls away from him, Grace dragging sharp over his, intent on hurting him, but not destroying him. Gabriel lowers his gaze to the ground, studying his boots, knowing he's lost his brother forever. Maybe he never really had him in the first place.

"My, how the mighty have fallen." Lucifer says, a smirk on his face.

There are so many things that Gabriel wants to say, but he cannot say a thing in the face of Lucifer's power and his Grace. It is a mistake to come here as he knew it would be, but they used to be close, used to love each other and now, well, Gabriel doesn't know if Lucifer even remembers how to love anymore.

Gabriel wants to leave, needs to get away from Lucifer, but he can't. There's a hand on his chin, tilting his face up and Lucifer smiles coldly down at him. "You don't believe I still love you."

Gabriel swallows, tries to pull away, but Lucifer tightens his grip. If Gabriel were human, he would bruise, but as it is, it's just uncomfortable and he doesn't really want to be this close to Lucifer anymore. He's so cold now, but Gabriel remembers when he was warm, was truly the Morningstar.

He's icy and frightening and so consumed with anger and a need for revenge that, if Gabriel didn't know better, he wouldn't even recognize him. Then again, Michael is no better. The last Gabriel saw of his eldest brother, he was broken into sharp pieces that made everyone around him bleed. Lucifer merely sucks the will to live from you if you get too close.

There are lips against his and he flinches, held in place by the hand on his jaw. Lucifer's Grace scrapes against his own, leaving jagged edges and frayed ends. Gabriel struggles against Lucifer, but Lucifer had always been the stronger of the two. He presses Gabriel against the wall, lips trailing across his cheek to his ear. "Oh yes. I still love you, little brother."

That admission brings no comfort to Gabriel and all he wants is to get away. Lucifer just holds him even more tightly, refusing to let go.

"You belong to me, Gabriel. Always have and always will." Lucifer purrs darkly.

Gabriel wants to protest, wants to tell Lucifer that he belongs to no one, thank you very much, but that would be lying and Gabriel's many things, but a liar he is not. Besides, he wouldn't be here right now if he truly didn't belong to Lucifer, didn't still love him.

Lucifer strokes a hand down Gabriel's face. Gabriel closes his eyes and wishes himself anywhere but here. Lucifer wraps around his Grace, squeezing tightly and too hard, and he's not going anywhere for a while.

The words of love that are being whispered against his skin are cold and don't feel like they used to. They used to be soft and warm and sweet and now they're hard, cold, and bitter. Gabriel thinks himself a fool for needing these words, even now, but he's loved Lucifer since he was Created and he isn't going to stop now. There's no excuse for the state he's in, but maybe Lucifer won't break him too much.

And if he does, well, Gabriel always knew that the tenderest of touches leave the darkest of marks.


End file.
